Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Sick or Faking?

Did you ever fake being sick so you could stay home from school?

Did you pass down this wonderful trait to your own children?

When I was a kid, I would plot this out the night before. I would lay in bed and plan the whole decietful lie that would get me out of school.

First it would be a headache, however I knew that this would not be good enough, then my stomach would hurt. I would pull out my best sick, whinny voice and complain of the pounding in my head and the cramping in my belly. Mom would then put her hand on my forehead and check for a fever.

"Nope, cool as a cucumber. Now get up and get dressed you have to go to school today. ", She would say.

Ok, so this led me to more plotting. I had to figure out how to fake a fever. But until I got that figured out, I would work my magic at school. By 3rd period, I would make myself late to class, I would pinch my cheeks to make them red, splash a little water on my face and tell the teacher I was late because I was in the bathroom thowing up. She would send me to the nurse where I would get to rest for about 45 minutes. I would continue to complain of achy skin, upset stomach and such. She would take my temperature. . . NORMAL!!! Back to class it was for me.

Then one day I had it figured out. When I complained to mom before school, I would still be in bed. I had a waterbed, WITH a heater!!! I would get my hands really warm and rub my face making it a little warm too. When she came in to get me up, yep. . . no more "cool as a cucumber" for me. Off she would go to get the thermometer. She would put it in my mouth, you remember those old mercury thermometers, and then she'd go back to the bathroom to finish getting ready for work. While she was gone I would put the thermometer against the warm mattress of the water bed. Up it would go. But that didn't get it warm enough to get me out of school. So, I would rub it really fast against the blanket on my bed. Yep, 100.2! That should do it.

Next thing I know she is on the phone to the school and I am snug in my nice warm bed. After she would leave for work, I would take my blanket and pillow and find my spot on the couch. . . for the rest of the day!!!!

This rubbing the thermometer trick worked really good to get me out of class when there were missed assignments or tests I wasn't ready for. I would use the same technique as above to get me out of class and in the nurses office. She would have me lay on one of the beds in her office. Lucky for me there were curtains around each bed. After she had given me the thermometer, I would rub it against my jeans. Sure enough, my dad was there to pick me up within the half hour.

I will never forget the day it backfired. I was in my bed, trying with all my might to be sick. I had to get the themometer up there quick because mom was running late. I rubbed and rubbed really fast. Then I heard her coming. I didn't have time to check it. I quickly put it back into my mouth just before she got to my bedroom door. When she checked it it was 104!!!!

Yep, you guessed it. . . I went to school. BUSTED!!!!

What did you do to get out of school???

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  1. Now don't that beat all? Can't imagine explaining 104 in a matter of a minute! This made me laugh!

  2. I was the best at faking school illness! I very rarely ever did, though, I liked school. I saved the sick acts for when we would have an oral report.

  3. LOL, I did a lot school skipping myself. too funny